I don't really get that many critics. It's probably because I don't really get read much. My harshest critics may be my best friend and my mother, because sometimes people let their fear of hurting my feelings get in the way of expressing what I could correct in my work. I'll admit, though, that I'm not the best person to preach to when dealing with critics. I feel bad when I get critiqued, probably because I'm not used to getting it.
But I do learn. For example is the piece on my blog called "Porcelain" which I wrote during a workshop. I was critiqued quite a lot for that, and it hurt. It hurt like hell. Someone was cutting my baby and my ego to pieces and tearing me, it seemed, to ribbons. I clenched my fists and closed my eyes and feigned a dizzy spell so I got out and grabbed some water. My heart was somewhere in my throat, I could literally feel it.
It's horrible, getting criticized. But it's also right. Sometimes it can tell you that you're not meant for something (I'm bad at drawing for drawing's sake; it's not for me and I won't die without it so I know it's not for me.), and sometimes it can tell you to push on. It takes years, art. Writing especially, because people will always have the same basic construction (Unless there's some screwy DNA madness.) but words always change.
1984's Newspeak may become the latest rage. God forbid. I may die.
I do get jealous when the latest 11-12-13-year-old prodigy with a novel comes along and me unable to finish mine with its tangle of prose that needs to be scrapped and redone from the bottom up. I know, it sounds silly, but that's how it is. And despite my logical side telling me (According to a diagnostic test, that side is rather weak.) that everyone has their own pace, I'm only human. I have those little voices in my head that tell me I'm not good enough.
I am my own harshest critic. And this critic in my head tells me to stop writing because I - to put it very coarsely - suck. I am not one for coarse language in the written word, but it's all the truth I have to say. There are some critics you listen to and there are some you ignore.
In writing, you're not writing for yourself. You're writing something with the intention of putting it out there for everyone else's interpretation and scrutiny. With that in mind, get your best friend-slash-shrink on speed dial, pick up the pen, and start scribbling with others in mind, other voices. Your goal is to be understood, but not completely. And enduring work can be read many different ways.
I went to a writing workshop with my best friend, Pato, a while back. I like workshops because they offer starting points from which one can build one's own style. I don't follow them word-for-word, but they do offer pointers that I take seriously. And though this one had a bit of a new-age, "The Secret" feel, I liked the points that the coach, Tweet Sering, presented.
They are the following:
- Know - self-reflection. What do you know for sure? Name it. Know what your dream, your idea is. Know yourself, because it's draw what you see and write what you know. This is the ghost-of-a-muse stage. Don't start writing from here!
- Validate - Knowing exactly what to write about. Like when you hear a song and you think Hey, that's me! "When something resonates with you, it confirms your feelings." Get a quote, a song, start from there.
- Attract - (This was a bit "The Secret"-ish so I didn't like it.) Brainstorming. Physical step. It's throwing things on to paper and getting things to happen. What do I want to say? Act on it!
- Commit - Your first draft. How committed are you? Are you going to give up before you're even halfway (...My poor "The Umbra"), or are you going to fight?
- Practice - Second draft, third draft, fourth draft...etc. You're talking to someone now. This writing is growing beyond just you. Try writing for an audience in mind. Your language starts to change and this is when you can un-kill your internal editor.
- Be brave - Have the courage to share it. Name your emotions and motivations so that you become their master. Scream it! Shout it! Blog it!
- Let go - Publish, blog it, leave it for the lions. A part of you has died in letting it go because it's the world's now. Your baby has grown up.
So fine. I'm not good yet. It takes time, and until I get to the point where the critics are my best friends I'll be faking a lot more asthma attacks and dizzy spells. But still, I'm at the beginning of a long road. Anyway, I've yet to act on those tips, but maybe I persist and I will. Oh, and I will enter more of those contests, because I love being out for blood.
Writing isn't a science, and that's what makes it beautiful.
